Money money money

Money is so scary. I need health insurance. I need a good new laptop. I would like to buy a few Christmas presents. But I'm entirely beholden to the number in my bank account ... which isn't very big. 

I hate living in a world where I am so reliant on money and barely have enough to scrape by. I feel really good about next year and looking for a better job. But until then ... here I am. Buying a budget laptop that's awful and worse than my old one simply because I need a laptop that runs Adobe XD by the first week of January, and subsequently, I only have $240 in my bank account until January. At which point I'll have like $2000 hitting my account. 

I know I need to talk to Nana about my college money. It's going to disappear once the recession hits anyway, so I may as well cash out while I can. I'm stressed about the $400 in excess tuition costs that my loans won't cover. And just generally terrified by the thought of paying for additional classes without loans. It's so so so much money. And what if I fail my classes? That would be thousands of dollars wasted.